Are you MORE fit to be a mother if you adopt?

I have two sister-in-laws who have adopted.  I’ve talked with many people who have adopted and they all have the same story.  It goes something like this…

It’s been so hard not being able to have children.  No one can possibly understand how difficult it is.  But, when we finally found (insert adopted child here) we just knew he was meant for us.  It was as if God hand picked him for our family.  And oh the struggles we went through getting him here.

Of course that is the extremely condensed version but the content is there. 

Now, my intent is not to take anything away from these women or to make them feel bad or to say they were not meant to adopt the child(ren) they did but my point is this; so often when women cannot have children biologically they act as if their now adopted children were more hand picked for them than women who are blessed with children naturally. This t-shirt shows the feeling out there, it’s almost as if adoption is more noble than having children the normal way.

I have been able to have children biologically.  We wondered if we would be able to have any more after our 3rd was born but after nearly 5 years we were able to have another.  I have “A Quiet Heart” written by Patricia Holland (Elder Holland’s better half) and they were unable to have anymore after they had 3.  Oh how they prayed and struggled to be able to have more.  She was able to get pregnant a 4th time but lost the baby mid pregnancy and was unable to have more after that.  I know, “why should women who already have 3 children feel bad that they can no longer have children”?  They should be grateful they were able to have the 3 they had right?  Of course that is correct but they still feel that same loss of not being able to welcome anymore spirits into their home and family.  At least a righteous woman would feel that pain.

My point is that God has a plan for everyone and the spirits that come to us whether through adoption or biologically God had a hand in.  He doesn’t have more of a hand in the ones who are adopted than He does in other cases and we should not be lead to feel that way.  We are all women struggling to fullfill His plan for us what ever that may be.

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